Scripture brings Mary of Bethany to Jesus’ feet on three very different occasions. She sat there to hear His teaching, fell before Him when her brother died, and later anointed Him with costly perfume. Jesus defended her choice to listen and later defended her gift against people who called it a waste.
Mary Belonged to a Household Jesus Loved
Mary was the sister of Martha and Lazarus. They lived in Bethany, near Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives, and Jesus was welcomed in their home. We are given only a few scenes from Mary’s life, but John tells us plainly how Jesus regarded this family.
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.
John includes Martha by name. I think it is unfair to praise Mary by making her sister sound like a woman who cared about housework and knew nothing of faith. Martha needed correction in Luke 10, but in John 11 she confessed that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of God. Both sisters trusted Him, and both needed what He had to teach them.
We also need to keep this Mary distinct from the other women who share her name. She was not Jesus’ mother, and Scripture does not identify her as Mary Magdalene. Mary of Bethany belongs to this particular household. Combining the women gives her a biography the biblical writers never supplied.
Luke 7 describes an unnamed sinful woman who anointed Jesus in a Pharisee’s house. The circumstances differ from the later anointing at Bethany, where John names Mary. The fact that both women anointed Jesus does not establish that they were the same person.
She Sat at Jesus’ Feet to Hear His Word
Luke 10:38-42 describes Jesus entering a village where Martha welcomed Him into her house. While Martha served, Mary sat down to learn from Him.
And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.
Sitting at a teacher’s feet was the posture of a disciple. Mary was giving her attention to Jesus as He spoke. Martha, meanwhile, became distracted by much serving. She appealed to Jesus because her sister had left her to serve alone and asked Him to tell Mary to help. Jesus answered Martha by name, acknowledged that she was worried and troubled about many things, and defended Mary’s choice.
But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.
Jesus did not say that feeding guests was beneath a spiritual person. Martha had welcomed Him, and her service was useful. But she had become so preoccupied with the work that she wanted Jesus to draw Mary away from hearing Him. He would not take that good portion from her. The Lord they were serving was present and teaching; Mary was right to listen.
I need to be honest about how easily necessary work can occupy all my attention. A household needs care, and a church has people who need practical help. We should not neglect those responsibilities. Yet we can fill a ministry calendar and never make room to be taught ourselves. If I am always arranging something for other people while refusing to let Scripture correct my own thinking, my activity has become an excuse.
Hearing Christ should govern the service that follows. Listening without obeying falls short too. Mary’s choice does not give me permission to avoid work in the name of devotion; it reminds me that the work is supposed to be done under His direction. For more on her sister’s place in these passages, see A Complete Bible Study on Martha.
She Came to Jesus’ Feet with Her Grief
When Lazarus became sick, the sisters sent Jesus the message, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick” (John 11:3). John explicitly tells us that Jesus loved the family, then records that He remained where He was for two more days. His delay was not evidence that He had forgotten them. He spoke to His disciples of going to awaken Lazarus, then told them plainly that their friend had died. What He was about to do would give them further reason to believe in Him.
By the time Jesus arrived near Bethany, Lazarus had been in the tomb four days. Martha met Him first. She believed her brother would rise at the last day, and Jesus told her that He Himself was the resurrection and the life. After confessing her faith in Him, Martha returned and quietly told Mary, “The Teacher has come and is calling for you” (John 11:28).
Mary got up quickly. The mourners in the house followed her, thinking she was going to the tomb to weep. Instead, she went to Jesus, who was still outside the village where Martha had met Him.
Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Martha had spoken the same words about her brother’s death. In Mary’s words, “Lord, if You had been here,” I hear confidence in His power alongside the pain of losing Lazarus. She believed Jesus could have prevented the death. Now her brother was buried, and she came weeping to the One she had wanted to come sooner. Jesus saw her tears and those of the people who had followed her.
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled.
He asked where they had laid Lazarus, and they invited Him to come and see. John then records that the Lord Himself wept.
Jesus wept.
Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus. His tears were not a sign that death had defeated Him or that His promise to Martha had failed. He loved this family and was deeply moved in their grief. Knowing what He was about to do did not make Him indifferent to what they were suffering.
Jesus then came to the tomb, again groaning within Himself, and commanded that the stone be removed. Martha objected because her brother had been dead four days and the body would smell. Jesus reminded her of His promise that she would see God’s glory. After thanking the Father, He called, “Lazarus, come forth!” The man who had died came out, still bound in graveclothes, and Jesus told those present to release him (John 11:38-44).
Mary had come to Jesus with a loss she could not undo. He answered with authority that reached into her brother’s tomb. Lazarus returned to mortal life, still subject to death. He had not yet received the everlasting resurrection life promised to believers. His raising nevertheless demonstrated who Jesus is and pointed ahead to Christ’s own bodily resurrection, after which He would never die again. The account is examined further in A Complete Bible Study on Lazarus.
I do not want to use the happy outcome to hurry past the tears. Mary grieved, and Jesus wept. Trusting Him does not require us to pretend that death is painless or that a funeral is a small interruption. Nor does this miracle promise that every bereaved believer will receive a loved one back before the last day. Our hope rests in the Lord who is the resurrection and the life. We can bring Him the sorrow of the present while trusting His promise for the future.
She Poured Out Costly Worship Before the Cross
The raising of Lazarus led many people to believe in Jesus, while the chief priests and Pharisees plotted His death (John 11:45-53). With that opposition gathering, Jesus returned to Bethany six days before Passover. John 12 describes a supper given for Him. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those at the table. The brother Mary had mourned was alive beside the Lord who was approaching His own death.
Matthew 26:6-13 and Mark 14:3-9 place the anointing at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper. They emphasize the anointing of Jesus’ head, while John names Mary and describes her anointing His feet. I understand these as accounts of the same occasion, with different details selected by each writer. Mary brought a pound of spikenard, an expensive fragrant oil.
Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
John records no speech from her at this supper; the attention falls on what she did and on Jesus’ explanation when the criticism began.
Judas asked why the oil had not been sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor. That was roughly a year’s wages for a laborer, so this was a substantial gift. His objection sounded charitable until John exposed what lay behind it: Judas did not care for the poor. He was a thief, kept the disciples’ money box, and took from what was put into it. Putting the money into that box would have placed it within his reach.
Matthew and Mark make clear that the criticism was not confined to Judas. The critics called the gift wasteful and scolded the woman. Jesus told them to stop troubling her and explained why He received what she had done.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial.”
Jesus connected Mary’s gift with His burial. I would not claim she understood every detail of the crucifixion or could already explain His resurrection. The writers do not tell us just how much she understood. They do give us Jesus’ explanation of her act: she had done a good work for Him as His death approached.
Jesus also told them that they would always have the poor among them, but they would not always have Him present as He was then. They would continue to have opportunities to help people in need; His words did not release them from that duty. Mary was honoring Him before His burial, an occasion that would not return. Judas’s professed concern for charity could not overturn the Lord’s judgment of her gift.
Jesus went further than defending Mary in that room. He promised that her act would be remembered wherever the gospel was preached.
Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.
People who called the gift a waste did not have the final word about it. The perfume was costly, but expense alone does not make a gift faithful. A person can give extravagantly from pride or a desire to impress. Mary’s act was received as good by the Lord she honored, and He explained its connection to His coming burial. I need to judge worship by what pleases Him rather than by either the size of a gift or the approval of those watching.
Her Devotion Points Beyond Her to the Gospel
Mary’s gift prepared for a real burial. The eternal Son of God became fully human without ceasing to be fully God. He lived without sin and willingly gave Himself to be slain as the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Wicked men betrayed Him, mocked Him, scourged Him, and nailed Him to the cross. The suffering they inflicted on His innocent body was real, and He shed His blood and died. The Father did not punish or abandon Him. His saving sacrifice was complete when He died. He was then buried and rose bodily on the third day, not merely revived after fainting.
Perfume could not remove Mary’s sin. Her gift honored the Savior whose sacrifice alone could save her. If I treated her generosity as payment for acceptance with God, I would turn her response to grace into an attempt to earn it. Salvation comes by grace through faith in Christ. Our work, religious emotion, family background, and costly offerings cannot put God in our debt.
That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”
For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him.
For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”
Paul directs us to the risen Lord and promises salvation to whoever calls upon Him in faith. Genuine worship grows from receiving Christ, trusting what He has done, and responding to His grace. We listen because His word is true, love because He first loved us, and give because He is worthy of our devotion. Our devotion does not earn His salvation. See A Complete Bible Study on the Gospel for a fuller explanation.
Mary’s Example Still Speaks to the Church
These passages should affect how we serve and treat people in the church. In Luke 10, Jesus would not let Mary’s opportunity to hear Him be taken away. We should be careful about making a person’s usefulness in a ministry the measure of their faithfulness. Someone can volunteer constantly and still need time to receive instruction, reconsider an attitude, or obey something they have been avoiding. I need to allow Scripture to examine me as well as prepare me to help somebody else.
At Bethany, Jesus also received a woman who came weeping. When someone has buried a brother, spouse, parent, or child, I should not use resurrection truth to silence their grief. We can speak honestly about Christ’s victory over death while sitting with a mourner and acknowledging the loss. Jesus knew He would call Lazarus from the tomb, yet He did not treat Mary’s tears as an embarrassment.
And when devotion draws criticism, I need to examine the criticism rather than assume it is right. Judas used an apparently practical argument to condemn what Christ approved. That does not mean every objection to our conduct is wicked or every costly religious project is wise. The question is whether we are actually obeying the Lord. We should listen to correction grounded in His word and refuse pressure to abandon what He commands merely to secure public approval.
My Final Thoughts
I do not want to turn Mary into a flawless symbol or reduce her life to the price of a bottle of perfume. Jesus taught her, received her in grief, and defended her gift before His burial. Her example directs us to Him. Repent and believe in the crucified and risen Savior, then let His word shape the work you do, the sorrow you bring to Him, and the honor you give Him.